Cutting through the Darkness

Well, fall is in the air and I couldn’t be happier about it. Autumn is my favorite season of all because with it comes cooler temps, bonfires, several fun holidays, and cozy sweaters. It also means I can put pumpkins outside for decoration. I know it’s not October yet but I don’t even care. I may have already purchased pumpkins and put them outside to welcome in this new season. I may even buy some more. And I don’t even feel bad about it. You shouldn’t either.

When I was writing my article for a local magazine in town, I researched all the different pumpkin colors and what they represent. (Yes, there are several artificial pumpkins out and about this time of year…blue, purple, pink.) I read something very interesting about the regular orange pumpkin though. First of all, I learned that it represents fall harvest.  Okay, no surprise there. But I also read that it can represent light cutting through the darkness.  After the rough year we’ve had, I love the picture of light cutting through the darkness.  We all need some light after 2020, right?  Heck, we need it now in this 2021 dumpster fire, too.

This word picture made me think about jack-o-lanterns. When we carve our pumpkins and place lights inside, we are literally making light shine through the darkness. Hmmm. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Confession Time: Hi, my name is Missy…I am a mom of two and I don’t like carving pumpkins. There, I said it. It’s out in the open, people.

But seriously…the inside of a pumpkin is gross, and slimy. I will carve some if my kids want to, but it’s not something I HAVE to do every year. If my kids don’t mention doing this activity, it’s not like I’m going to bring it up and beg them for a family carving night. I can go a year without that pumpkin goop getting all over me. But if you are one of those brave parents who does this religiously with your child(ren) each year because they love it, and you don’t mind pumpkin guts, then you know how it’s done.

First, you must cut open up the pumpkin. Second, you have to dig out all of the gross insides and make the inside a smooth-ish surface. Next, you make the carving (this can be interesting.) Some like to trace it out first and some just pick up the knife and start cutting. Last, the candle or LED light is placed inside….and voila! You end up with a creatively carved jack-o-lantern. Okay, tutorial complete. Moving on…

This last year has been rough. And as I alluded to before, 2021 isn’t unicorns and rainbows either. So when I think about the jack-o-lantern process, I think about the Lord taking all of our disgusting sins upon Himself, and replacing it with His righteousness. Then He puts His light inside of us to shine for others. It may be a cheesy analogy, but it’s one I can relate to and understand. If my kids want to carve pumpkins this year, I will totally turn it into a Spiritual lesson. Let’s face it, it will need to be in order for me to have a good attitude about it. Haha! Feel free to do the same.

Even though we are living in messy, scary times I can always look to the Lord for peace and comfort. I can always rely on His promises. (He actually keeps them!) I can breathe deeply and know that HE holds the world in His hands. (Yes, even this current crazy world we live in.) He loves me and cares for me. (More than anyone else.) And in the midst of uncertainty, He promises to remain the same today, tomorrow and forever. This promise is found in Hebrews 13:8. (I really don’t like change anyway so this is wonderful.) He is consistent. (Unlike me.). HE IS GOOD. (And not to mention perfect.)

I’ve personally received several messages, texts and even phone calls where I am privileged to discuss life with others. Some who have never felt the pangs of anxiety before are suddenly overcome with it because of all the things going on in our world today. And I do not have all the answers, but I can say for certain that I am thankful the Lord is for me. I cannot imagine walking through this life, full of panic and anxiety alone. So come to Jesus when you feel that way. He understands it, too. Remember that for all who are in Christ, He has done the dirty work. He has died a sinner’s death even though He was perfect. He took all of our disgusting sins upon Himself so that we could look white as snow.

Speak truth to yourself to combat that nasty fear when it rises up. You can also try this with the inhale/exhale breathing exercise. I have gone to a number of different counselors, and several of my friends are counselors and/or therapists. One thing they have affirmed to me is that our brains need oxygen, and there is a lack of oxygen present when the panic starts creeping in. So we breathe in and meditate on one part of a verse or a promise and we exhale with another one. Try it with Matthew 11:28…

Inhale: Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,

Exhale: and I will give you rest.

(My friend, Ginny has a podcast and has these exercises on her instagram page from time to time. If you haven’t checked out Pause, Renew, Next….you really should.) We all need to take a minute to concentrate on what is true and right in the world because there are a LOT of lies out there. You aren’t alone, friend. Keep going! We are cutting through the darkness, one step at a time.

I John 1:5 says, “This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

Magnolia Plantation & Gardens is a MUST VISIT

Have you ever been somewhere so beautiful it’s made you cry? We finally visited a place in our new hometown that may be one of the most gorgeous places I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen some European countries. I’ve been to Hawaii. I’ve been very blessed in my lifetime to go and see places I’ve only read about in textbooks. But several months ago, we went to Magnolia Plantation and Gardens in Charleston, SC and I was in awe. Literally taking pictures at every corner. The entire place is so picturesque. Weddings were happening, people from all over the world were here. And a deer licked my arm. More on that in a minute. But seriously. This place was from a story book.

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My cousin had been in town for a few days and we wanted to take her around the Charleston area for some sight seeing. After some time at the pool we decided to head over to Magnolia Plantation to check it out. I enticed my children to go by mentioning the nature center. And it did NOT disappoint. I had no idea I would walk into this little animal area and feel like Snow White. There are eight deer in there that just roam the area, waiting for people to pet them. They WILL lick you if you let them. I totally did. What other time in my life will I ever be able to say I’ve been licked by a deer? These deer were taken in because they had imprinted on humans and couldn’t return to the wild. So they are nice and safe here and can roam around to the surprise and delight of anyone who enters this area. We were also fascinated by the peacocks. They also roam the area and show off their feathers for the ladies. The only other place I’ve seen peacocks in the wild was in Hawaii. I forgot how loud they are! Haha! But definitely check out the nature center. There are several amazing animals to see!

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The landscape of the area is insanely gorgeous. There is simply NOT a bad place to take a picture. Every corner has some sort of flower, tree or wildlife you will want to capture on your phone to create a future canvas print later. Trust me on this. Honestly, I was kind of pinching myself the entire time, making sure this was a real place. And being a short drive from my home made it that much more amazing to me.

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So if you keep your ticket and want to return within seven days, you can go again at no extra cost. So, we kept our tickets and took my husband back with us because he HAD to see this place! This time when we went we saw several alligators in some of the ponds. Magnolia has strict rules about not feeding them but they allow them to roam and live here freely. You are in South Carolina. They live here! So watch where you walk! You may see one a tad closer than you expected! (The one pictured below is a little guy in the nature center.)

I love seeing new places, and learning about their history. This place isn’t just pretty. It is historic. It was founded in 1676 by the Drayton family. It has seen its fair share of the Revolutionary War, and Civil Wars. It is the oldest public garden in America and it is a MUST SEE when coming to Charleston.

Our family just bought the general admission tickets which gives you access to the gardens, grounds, and the nature center. You will need to pay extra to go inside the home, take a tram or boat tour or see the swamp gardens. SO much to do and see here so definitely plan accordingly. If you go to their website, they will tell you what is in bloom right now, and lots of other details you may need before you visit. Check it out here: https://www.magnoliaplantation.com/index.html

Walking these grounds gave me such peace. Being in nature will do that. I look at these birds wandering the grounds and the deer who have no idea that licking people isn’t normal and it reminds me of this verse:

Matthew 6: 26-34 says, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.“

Next time you plan a visit to Charleston, check out these gorgeous gardens. I promise you will not be disappointed. Magnolia Plantation and Gardens is most definitely a place you MUST VISIT! (Please remember it is hot in the summer! Haha!)

Take a moment and FEEL it

Sometimes when we are going through a difficult season we need to take a moment and FEEL it. I know that sounds weird. But we need to acknowledge the season we are in, call out the challenges, and take moments to be proud of ourselves for making those small steps toward healing and success. No matter how small it may seem.

Speaking of small triumphs, my husband drove the car a few times the other day with me in the passenger seat. This may seem like a silly achievement for some, but for me it was huge. Being “trapped” is one of my panic triggers and being in a car where I am not driving and concentrating on where we are going, but left to sit in the passenger seat and worry about having a panic attack has been an issue for me again these last few months. After he drove, I got out of the car with a smile on my face, and acknowledged the fact that I am strong and I did it. Even if it was a short car ride.

On Sunday, the pastor was saying things that directly related to my current season of life. I acknowledged the connection, and let the tears flow. I needed to feel the words and let my emotions happen. Trying to hide our struggles and our emotions can become utterly exhausting. And honestly, it makes anxiety worse. I would rather people just understand that I am struggling right now than try to act like everything is sunshine and rainbows. Because then I am worried about “what if” I start to panic? And “what if” my anxiety rears it’s ugly head and these people see it and start wondering what is wrong with me? Letting people you trust understand the struggles you’re facing can be healthy. They can be praying for you, and prayer is powerful. It can also let them know why you’re saying “no” to certain outings or events. If the person shuns you for your struggles, or backs away because they think you’re a psychopath, then they probably weren’t a good friend to begin with, and you can move on. There will be people to support you, pray for you, and check in with you and those are the people you want in your inner circle. Some people have too much going on in their own lives to feel like they can carry the burden of knowing you’re in a challenging season, and that’s okay too. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, it may just mean their cup is full and they literally can’t put anything else on their plate right now. I would rather someone be honest about that then wreck themselves trying to support me. We should ask others if they can handle a venting session before we give them one. Some people have the space to listen and some people don’t. Let’s respect one another’s boundaries and make sure everyone’s heart is ready to hear tough stuff before we let it all out.

Fighting every negative feeling isn’t healthy nor is it helpful. There is a lot going on in our world right now, much less our personal lives. Adding the two together can seem almost unbearable at times. So give yourself time to process what’s going on in your personal life and the world around us when you’re ready to do that. And then take one day at a time, knowing that the Lord is walking this journey with you. He may not take all the tragedies and panic attacks away, but He is right there with us in the midst of them. This alone is so comforting. I recognize where I am currently, and know that it’s not where I want to stay. I challenge myself but also know my limits. I have a long ways to go, but every step forward is a victory worth celebrating. I am thankful for a personal Lord and Savior who is with me every step of the way.

When I saw the gorgeous steps of this Bed and Breakfast in downtown Charleston it reminded me of taking steps every day to improve my quality of life, become more courageous and achieve those triumphs however big or small pertaining to my anxiety. While my children and I were looking at the beautiful flowers and ironwork of this B&B, we also were able to hear the church bells starting ringing at the beautiful church nextdoor. I’m not Catholic, but I admire these people coming in for mass in the middle of the day. The church bells ringing were a beautiful sound. It was all very reverent but comforting.

I have had bad bouts of anxiety in the past, and many times they come after a major change in my life. (a.k.a. Moving to a new place!) It happened after a previous move so I guess I expected it to happen again. As much as I hate that it is happening again, I also can look back and see that the Lord, counseling, medicine and hard work got me through it in the past. So, I have hope and comfort this time knowing that I can get through this too. I don’t have to be stagnant in this anxiety ridden place. And the only reason I share my personal journey is in order to help others who also may be in a valley right now. A difficult place where they need to hear comfort and hope. Remember we serve a God who never sleeps. Who is always watching over us. And who welcomes our emotions. (Jesus felt them too. So glad He “gets” me.) So I will lean in and FEEL this experience and be grateful for the small steps to healing.

Psalm 121 : My Help Comes from the Lord

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

he who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;

the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

The Lord will keep

your going out and your coming in

from this time forth and forevermore.